Parts 1 & 2
I’d like to start my portion of this blog off right. By making fun of any site that gets more visitors than us.
Because screw them, and their visitors.
You may have heard of a little saying “Good design goes unnoticed“, and the converse can also be proven to be true.
I will spend my next 6 articles making fun of all of these sites. Although I can complain all day, as my co-bloggers can attest to, I will keep it down to three strikes, or occasional compliments on each example.
Site #1 : Evangelical Cathedral
Disclaimer: If you have a history of seizure, you are pregnant, drunk, a typographer, allergic to enthusiasm, or any combination of those, please do not visit this site. It is the worst thing to happen to eyeballs since grunge type in the early 90s.
I believe all of us, from every creed and color need to unite against terrible design, can I get an “Amen”?
Strike 1: All Flash site for no reason.
Unless you count the visuals as a good reason to do anything, other than vomit or shake violently in a ball, this site should really be static HTML. Unless Jesus healed all of the blind people already, this site is only usable by sighted users that don’t get motion sick easily.
Strike 2: Someone actually made this, then someone else approved it
May there be a curse on the mind that imagined this. I can’t imagine what kind of horse tranquilizers the creator must be on to be able to just interact with another human beings…
But the sadder part, someone saw this and decided that this accurately represents what they are all about. Which must be CRAZY BULLSHIT AUGMENTED BY SPECIAL EFFECTS!!!11
If they don’t have fireworks that emit from all corners and sides of the stage after a good “HALLELUJAH”, I’d be really disappointed.
Strike 3: Try to read any of the body copy on this site without losing your mind
I dare you. Go ahead. Try.
Click on About > Bishop Don Meares, if you haven’t lost your mind yet, try to read one paragraph of his bio. Semi-transparent backgrounds on all of the containers allow you to enjoy the ENERGETIC BACKGROUND GRAPHIX as they FLY BY AS GRACEFUL AS A ONE WINGED DOVE ON FIRE.
Site #2 : MSN
We’ve all seen it, at least once. Install Windows XP, power up IE6 and this is what you get, Microsoft’s poor understanding of the Web, design and usability. Yessss.
I’ll ignore the “US Weekly” style web content, the images that are saved at 40% quality, and all of the tacky ads everywhere. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Strike 1: Hierarchy Please?
Nope, not allowed. There are at least two Ad locations that are larger than any one content area, almost all of the type is the same exact size, and there are very few clear divisions telling the eye what’s associated with what.
It’s fine tho, if you can’t wade your way through the poor design, maybe you don’t deserve MSN’s content. Did you ever think of that?
Strike 2: Would somebody please think of the grandmas?
I don’t know what alternate plane of reality a lot of web designers live on, but 11px font size for body content is a dick move. We all know that Grandma Jenkins doesn’t know how to get to the Accessibility options in the Control Panel or the browser settings.
Unfortunately for Grandma Jenkins, even if she could find Accessibility options, they’ve used white type on a medium blue. Of all of the rods and cones in your eye, the blue cones are the first to go, meaning white type on a medium blue is going to be a problem for Ol’ Lady Jenkins.
Strike 3: Designing with an Iron Fist
Like most of Microsoft’s products, MSN has been designed by some intern for a few beers. What little visual separation that is there is either to subtle or really harsh. Not only is your eye looking for anything that resembles organization, it’s constantly being irritated by the tight spacing, hard lines, and uncontrolled palette.
Welcome to the jungle, we’ve got… bad content n’ games?
